Coming out is a unique experience for everyone in the LGBTQ+ community, and this Pride Month, members of the Santa Clarita community discussed with KHTS their experiences and advice.
The process of realizing and accepting one’s sexuality prior to coming out is different for everyone, and may take a long time.
“I was raised Catholic, and I was a youth leader. It took me a very long time to come to terms with the fact that I liked women,” said Kaitlyn Lavo. She went on to say, “Being out was not really an option for me for a while.”
The actual act of coming out can happen in many ways, and is often and idealistically a choice made by the person who is choosing to come out. “I know people don’t have to come out but for me, I had to,” said Joce Fannon. “I didn’t want to exist as uncomfortable the rest of my life.”
While some are given the chance to choose when and how to come out, as well as to who, in other instances a person can be outed to someone without their consent.
See Related: LGBTQ+ Pride Month: Santa Clarita Reflects On 1969 Stonewall Uprising
“In seventh grade, I came out to my friend. I later found out that she told another friend who told her mom, who told my mom. That’s not how I wanted my story to happen,” said Nicole Montano.
Being outed can create a dangerous situation for someone, and LGBTQ+ persons often emphasize the importance of respecting someone’s choices when it comes to their own coming out. Different reactions prior to coming out can impact someone’s life and mental health.
“Unfortunately we see that a lot of youth do commit suicide after coming out because of negative responses that they get,” said Jae Enecial, Vice President of the SCV LGBTQ+ Center. Mental health wellness is a large focus within the LGBTQ+ community.
“If you have a solid support system to get you through it, that’s what’s going to get you to be who you are and be comfortable being who you are,” said Enecial.
“Listen to people’s stories, make them feel validated and heard. The struggle of coming out for people is very real so be open to new information,” said Maggie Anderson.
There are many different components and things to consider when coming out, but the goal of feeling accepted and living authentically remains largely common among members of the LGBTQ+ community. Coming out is for some, a step towards this.
“It was kind of liberating for me to realize that whatever I am, whoever I am, I’m just going to be okay with that,” said Jake Brewer
“I would tell people to take it at their own pace,” said Pars Watson. “They really don’t have to put a label or anything at all. They can express themselves anyway they wish to.”
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